What Doesn’t Kill You…

          They say everything happens for a reason. The popular girl gets all the attention at school, but none at home; the boy who bullies people because his parents are about to break up. “Things can be going on in people’s lives that you may not even know.” But what about the people who just float through life? What about the people who don’t even have to try? A simple “life is not fair” speech doesn’t seem to cut it then. Now what about the girl that does everything but gets no thank you; what about the boy who tries his hardest but still gets an F? When debating about life’s fairness we always blame God, always ready to tell the Almighty to square up. The lingering question in my mind is when. When do I get rewarded for the opportunities given to the next person because they “need” it more? Why do I have to struggle in order to deserve a chance? How can the go getters continue to rattle enough go in them when the world just tells them stop? And when do they realize it’s rigged? The world is working against them…a galactic game of tag.
          There are three types people in the world: Those who get knocked down over and over and just bounce back up, the ones that fall down again and again and realize things will never change so they accept defeat, and those that don’t try at all. I already know which one I am, but I can’t help but wonder if any of these methods have a true winner. The good get walked over, the good get pushed down, and the good end up not feeling so good anymore. The evil live life, the evil feel empty inside, and the evil feel good being bad. I feel like I am one of the hardest workers yet the people that do the bare minimum get to reap the maximum rewards. It’s a mystery of life. Yes, it’s sad and I feel helpless in all of this. Getting back up doesn’t seem like an option. I believed I could fly only to have my wings broken as I frantically attempted to tape them back on. I understand those from the other categories and maybe I should just join their community. What do you do when your best isn’t good enough? I’ll answer that—you stay to yourself, you have a laugh now and again, and then you slowly whittle away as if you were never there in the first place…


          But when it’s your nature to get back up you just can’t stop. It’s not the failure that makes you cry…it’s the fact that


you know you are going to try again—the fact that this is not a one time thing but a perfected routine. Sometimes I hate the good inside of me. The part that can’t stop fighting and ends up getting hurt over and over again. The side that has dreams and aspirations that will never be given up. My ability to recuperate flusters me. My vulnerability makes me strong. When I don’t win, it is not because of my shortcomings or my lack of ability therefore I don’t see it as a failure. I get back up because nothing and no one can ever hold me down.


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